Superbowl?

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I keep hearing about the Superbowl coming up this weekend.  I am pretty excited about that.  I really get excited about breakfast and dinner, and I even dented the bottom of my stainless steel bowl because I was eating with such gusto.  It seems like a Superbowl would really work for me.  I mean, really, I’m not like Mozzie who will just wander off in the middle of a meal just to hang out with Mom.

For my Superbowl, here are the features I want:

  • Dent resistant
  • Only allows ME to eat out of it
  • Automatically refills on time for dinner and breakfast so I don’ t have to help my brothers with the stare down at meal time
  • Treats appear in it regularly
  • Medication is not permitted to be snuck in

I realize Mom’s Superbowl would have chocolate in it, but since I can’t eat chocolate, I hope no one mixes up my Superbowl with hers.

-Ricola

Could I Be a Therapy Dog?

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Mom has a friend in the hospital, and I know she’s been worried.  Earlier tonight, she got a text showing her friend at the hospital with a therapy dog.  Guess what!  She was a Berner.  Don’t tell Mozzie because we all know he’d go crazy.  He’s a little nutso to be a therapy dog.  He can’t hold still when a stranger pets him, but *I* can.  I could hold still forever if someone pet me.

This got me thinking.  I could be a therapy dog.  I’ve got the perfect disposition, and I’m awfully darn cute!    Mom always talks about her golden boy, Russ, and how perfect he was.  Apparently he was the ideal therapy dog, but since he’s not here, I think I could go with Mom instead.  I think I’d like that.  I wonder if they’d hold my opossum killing history against me.

-Atlas

Pre-agility, Teeter-Totter

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Finishing my story about my first night at pre-agility….after the wobbly board, it was time to do a simulation of the high walk.  It was actually a low walk.  There was a 12″ board that was only a few paws long with a slanted board that went down the ground.  The whole point was to walk on the board and then walk down the slanted board but to only put our front paws on the ground (and quick, grab the food!).  I’m not sure what happened here either, but whatever was trying to get me in the ladder exercise came after me again on this.

Mom swears the thing that keeps me from balancing correctly is just my own back end.  I find that hard to believe because when I turn around, my back end is always where it should be:  behind my front end.  Mom says this is something else we’ll have to work on.

Last but not least they had a very long and very low teeter-totter with fencing on both sides.  It seemed pretty narrow, but by now, I understood that treats were at stake, so I hoped right on and walked to the end.  It wobbled a little, maybe a few inches to the ground, and mom made me “wait” and then “release” before I got my treat.  She said there was something special about the end part of the teeter, so I needed to not just jump off.  I really liked this part.

I sure hope we get to do some jumping next week.  I saw lots of things that looked like I should jump over them, but mom said I have to wait until it’s time to do that in class.  Just in case, I’ve been hopping on and off the sofa a lot this week.  I even jumped over Atlas when he was in my way.

So that’s it, week 1 of pre-agility.  The instructor did say that I was very energetic and that I had really good focus on Mom.  Duh!  I wub my Mom.

-Moz

Pre-Agility, Weave Poles

 

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Last night, after the tunnel, I had to do this thing called “weave poles.”  Let’s just say, I’m pretty sure mom could not get through these after a glass of chardonnay.  So they have them set up with something sort of like drip line between them (curved) and then ex-pens are gates along the outside.  I was a little confused because I know it’s faster to just go in a straight line, but mom indicated there would be treats involved.

I started with the first pole next to my left shoulder, and I went through 3 poles and then looked up and realized I could just jump over the ex-pen, so that’s what I did.  I could have sworn mom said agility would involve jumping, but apparently, this was not the jumping part.  I got to try again a bunch more times, and I kind of get the idea, but I don’t think this will be my favorite part.

Next I got to walk on this giant board with a ball or something under it so that it wobbled.  Some of the other kids in class were afraid, but not me!  I was all about getting the treat.  I’ll walk on that all day if there is food involved.  The instructor even said we could play on it if we show up early for class next week.

Tomorrow, I’ll tell about the rest of the things at class.  I do need to mention that tonight mom tried to get me to walk through the ladder like we did last night, but something behind me kept bumping the ladder, so I never did really get through the whole thing.  Of course Atlas, the little show off, pranced right through it.  That’s okay because only I get to go to class with mom.  🙂

-Moz

Pre-Agility, Part I, Tunnel

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This was a great day!  It was my first night of pre-agility class.  I wasn’t too sure what was happening because mom put on the magic shoes, but we got in the car instead of going for a walk.  When we got to the place for the class, I had lots of pee-mail to send to my new friends.

This class was great.  It was not boring.  Instead of just sitting waiting to die of boredom in a “stay,” I got to run through things, on things, over things, etc.  There’s too much to talk about in just one night, so I’ll just start tonight and continue later…

First, mom took the super, duper good treats.  Yes, we had Primal Chicken Shredders!  We also had turkey loaf!  AND there were lots of GIRLS!  Lots of Borderline Collies, too.  And some girl Borderlines.

First, we had to walk through a ladder on the ground.  I’m not sure what that was for, but it was harder than it sounds.  The instructor said it was for back end awareness, but all I know is something behind me was attacking me, and when I looked behind me, there was no one there.  That was okay because I did get a treat at the end.  Mom says we will practice that one.

NEXT was this really cool tunnel!  The instructor stood at one end with turkey loaf, and mom showed me where to go, and I ran right through to the little tile with food on it.  The instructor said I was like a bulldozer.  I am pretty sure that is a compliment, because I was not afraid to go through quickly to get to the treat.

Coming soon, I’ll write about the weave polls, the tilt table, the low part of the high walk with the “contact” area, and the teeter-totter  Let’s just say, I can’t wait for next week.  Baby, I was born to run!

-Moz

Ebay

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Earlier today I saw Mom taking pictures and listing things on Ebay.  I asked Mozzie what Ebay was, and he said it was a place for people to buy things they want and to sell things they don’t want.  This gave me an idea!

When I hear Mom talking about opossums, it seems pretty clear that she and her friends do NOT want any of them.  In fact, she did tell me it was okay to get rid of them as long as I don’t bring them into the house.  So, I was thinking of having Mozzie help me see if I could order some opossums on Ebay.  If people don’t want them anymore, but I do, this seems like a great solution.

It did occur to me that I’d need some money to pay for them, so I was thinking that for sure Mozzie would be okay with the idea of selling the grooming table.  Maybe we could do that and split the proceeds.  Then I could get opossums delivered regularly.  There’s no telling what Mozzie would buy, but I’ll bet he would find something he wanted.  Do they sell girlfriends on Ebay?

-Atlas

Tips to Getting Petted in the Middle of the Night

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Sometimes I just need a little more petting than I can get during the hours my parents are awake.  Don’t get me wrong, I am always getting petted when I am awake.  I have mastered the art of fitting into very small spaces, like the one on the loveseat between Mom and Dad.  I do have to nap sometimes, too.

Sometimes though, about 2:00 or 3:00 a.m., I need to get some parental attention, but both of my parents are sound asleep, and just jumping on the bed or nosing them will not get attention I need.  So here’s what I do:

  • Hop on the bed, making sure to land on at least some both part of Mom’s.
  • Walk around a little, making sure to step on a different body part.
  • Continue to do this until Mom says, “Atlas, lie down.”
  • THAT Is the invitation I need.  So then I lie down next to mom so she can pet me.  Then I roll over on my back for belly rubs.  Inevitably, she will fall asleep again, so I have to move to the next phase.
  • Scoot up so that my head is on Mom’s pillow and just enough fur is in Mom’s face to tickle her nose.  This will get her to pet my head in an attempt to smooth down the fluff.
  • If she gets annoyed, I just tilt my head back against her neck and use the “I love you Mom” look that Mozzie taught me.  It works like a charm, just like he said.
  • If I decide I need to go check on something outside, when I come in, I just start the process from the beginning.

I think that as long as I’m cute and fluffy, I’ll be able to get away with this.

-Atlas

New Laptop

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Mom decided she could not just “limp along” without a laptop.  I was looking, but it didn’t look like she was limping.  I did see her limp after she twisted her knee, but that wasn’t recent.  I digress.  Mom said something about needing to be able to work efficiently at home, so today was the day.

She spent some time surfing the net.  So wait, I did not see her surfing either.  We don’t even OWN a surfboard.  Or a net.  I digress again.  Sorry.  So she compared specs across different computer models.  I didn’t know computers wore glasses.

Anyway, she decided to go to Best Buy and “bite the bullet.”  Now this sounded really dangerous, and I was worried about her and her dental work, but dad seemed to be encouraging her, so I guess it wasn’t a bad thing.

Eventually, she came home with a new laptop.  I know Atlas is annoyed because he can’t sit on her lap with a laptop there.  She said it was a Macbook Pro.  The box had an apple on it.  This must be the magic apple she was talking about last week.  When she got it out of the box, I was pretty sure it was defective because there was not a book in there at all.  Certainly not a professional book.  Nevertheless, mom seemed thrilled, and this silver thing she took out certainly looks like a laptop, so I think that chapter of our life is done.  It’s a good thing because I need to get her back to thinking about treats.  And walks.  And petting me.  And telling me I’m handsome.  You know, the important stuff.

-Moz

Pizza!

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For dinner tonight, Dad made pizza!  He made it the real way and even made the dough.  I helped him work on it all afternoon.  It is hard supervising and remaining alert for falling treats.  There was CHEESE and turkey pepperoni and lots of veggies.  It smelled great!

I was really craving some pizza, so after I ate my dinner, I took up a spot closest to Mom.  When she started eating her pizza, I put on my very earnest, “I love you, Mom” face.  She smiled and kept eating.  I went to the head tilt with loving look.  She still did not share.  By then I KNEW it had to be really good because she was resisting the head tilt/love look combination.

I could just imagine that creamy ricotta and crispy crust.  I was just daydreaming about eating her pizza, and the next thing you know, I was….well, I was….drooling.  I know it is not cool, but I guess that Pavlov guy was right.  Mom gave me (and my brothers who were not even doing their part to convince mom to share) a small piece of crust.  Oh yum!  Yum!  YUM!

I thought that was great, and I was honestly giving mom the love look, but the drooling started again.  Then she made me back away.  I was sad and really wanted a little more pizza, but I think the drool that dripped on her foot really hurt my chances.  Just as I was giving up all hope, she gave me the last little piece (with some cheese on it!).  Happy!  Joy!  Of course that was followed by the universal symbol for no more food left.  At least I know there are leftovers, so I’ll get another chance soon.

-Moz

Laptop is Dead

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It’s official.  Our 18 month old Lenovo laptop is dead.  Kaput.  Never coming back to life.  The repair guy told mom that the motherboard, the thing I think Atlas chewed, is fried.  They can’t find a new one, and a refurbished one is $200 before installation.  Now I thought re-FUR-bished was when Dad vacuums the sofa and then Atlas hops up there and sheds.  Apparently not.

Then the repair guys said it might also need a new CPU.  Canine Power Unit?  Candy Pants Unicorn?  Whatever.  Apparently this magical thing is really important and would cost another $500 plus labor.  That a LOT of Bully Stick money.

Mom said no way was she paying over $700 to repair an 18 month old laptop.  She also said she would NEVER, EVER buy another Lenovo.  Or buy from this same shop.

So now Mom and I need to find a new laptop to use for my dog blog.  She did explain that the apple she was discussing with Dad was a type of computer.  I’m still not sure about that.  Why would they call it an Apple?  Why do they call that spot remover Mom uses Shout?  It barely even makes a misting sound.  Humans make life so much harder than it needs to be.

I’m not sure what this will mean for my treat supply.  Or Mom’s wine supply.  Or the new tv Dad wants.  At least I’m still Mom’s favorite.

-Moz