Strange Windshield Covers

 

As some of you know, I moved to California from the midwest almost two years ago.  Winter in the midwest was normal —  we got snow and ice and really cold (nice!) weather.  Here in California, it rarely even dips below freezing, but it’s been unusually cold here this week.  Of course I think this is fantastic, and mom isn’t bothered by temperatures in this range, so we still go walking.  This morning, I noticed something really strange.  Lots of cars here have cardboard or towels on their windshields.  It sure seems like that would make it hard to see out, even with a rear view mirror and side mirrors.

Anyway, I asked mom what was going on with all of this strange stuff, and she explained that people in California do this because they don’t know how to use ice scrapers…or something like that.  Supposedly people here do this to keep frost (not ice, just frost) off of their windshields.  This seems really strange to me.  Really strange.  Not just odd like people wearing down coats when it’s 55 degrees outside.  Not peculiar like people wearing mittens when it’s 60 degrees outside.  Not even just notable like palm trees with Christmas lights.  Plain old strange.

Maybe I should take some time to create a training video about how to use an ice (or frost) scraper to help the residents in my new home state.  I’ll do that right after I go outside and nap in the lovely cool weather.  I wonder if I should wear a towel to keep the frost off of my fur.  🙂

 

-Moz

 

Mozzie’s Favorite Things Song

 

Snowflakes on mountains and treats from the kitchen
Frozen beef soup bones and new collar fittin’
Obedience trials where I leave the ring
These are a few of my favorite things

All kinds of doggies and even big poodles
Long weekend days where my mom walks me oodles
UPS drivers who make doorbells ding
These are a few of my favorite things

Going off my leash and doing long dashes
Meeting some new friends without any clashes
Waiting for Fedex to see what they bring
These are a few of my favorite things

When my mom works
When the burrs cling
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad

-Moz

Grooming is AGONY!

 

I am a teenage boy, and I do love the great outdoors (isn’t that why they call them great?), but I do not do gross things that get me dirty.  My older sister, Skye Princess the Golden Retriever, loved to do gross things like roll in dead squirrels and mud.  Mom told me that one time Skye even came back to the house covered in something green and slimy.  Apparently she looked quite pleased with herself.  SHE needed to be groomed because she was always getting dirty and smelly and gross.  I, however, do not do those things, and as a result, I should not have to be groomed.

My mom is obsessed with grooming.  I told her so.  I am a very energetic boy, and holding still long enough to get groomed is AGONY.  Seriously.  I would rather spend a day with a cat than have to be groomed.  Did you ever wonder why they call that thing around my neck a “noose”?  Because it could kill you to hold still that long!

First there’s that having to get dragged to the grooming table.  Okay, it is true that I wouldn’t have to be dragged if I were more willing to go, but that is not the point.  The point is getting dragged is just the start of the torture.  Once they hoist me onto the table and put that noose around my neck, mom gets my perfectly lovely coat all wet!  Then she puts some sort of shampoo on me.  If it were such a great thing, why doesn’t she use it on her hair???  Then there’s the rinsing.  Thank goodness she didn’t read the label that says lather, rinse, REPEAT!

Next the evil comb and brush come out.  You know what….mom even throws away my fur.  I need fur.  If she wanted a dog with no fur, she should have one of those ugly Chinese Crested things.  About the time I think I should be bald, I check to make sure I have at least SOME fur left.  Then even though I only have a little fur left, mom gets out scissors AND toenail clippers.  I always try to hide my feet, but mom is smart, and she can count to four, so she always manages to get to all four of my feet and every single toenail.  I always have to count my feet when she’s finished because I do think she might be trying to amputate my foot.  Just because it hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean it couldn’t.

Just about the time I think it’s over, mom gets out the jet engine/leaf blower.  She says it’s a Chris Christensen dryer, but you look at the picture and tell me.  She blows all this air on me.  I can’t stand it when I have air blowing in my face (unless it’s when I’m running out of the obedience ring off leash).  Plus, I’ve already been up there 7 hours in dog years!  I think the jet engine/leaf blower part is to get my fur back to the way it was before she started.  So what is the point?  I had to endure all this torture for no reason.  I hate grooming.  It’s AGONY!

You say Potato…..

 

It was a great, crisp day today, so it was perfect for a quick 2 mile walk with mom.  As we were walking, I was recalling a conversation she had with dad.  I pretended I wasn’t listening, just like I sometimes do when we practice obedience, but I was!  I remember dad talking about a French delicacy he liked.  He said it was something like “Pah-tay,” and it had something to do with geese.

Suddenly, we got close to the pond, and I saw them….GEESE.  I remember mom telling me I was not allowed to chase them (buzz kill), but then I saw it on the ground…the stuff dad was talking about…I HAD to have some.  I grabbed some up off the grass, and mom told me to “LEAVE” it, but why?  Maybe I was supposed to take some home to dad?  I asked her about it, and she said, no that is gross!  Now I was confused.  How is it gross if dad likes it  (okay, besides picked herring which mom says is disgusting)?

I am not a big accent guy or great with spelling so mom explained that what DAD likes is  goose liver “Pâté,” and what I like is goose “potty.”  Now how was I supposed to know that dad wasn’t just using his French accent?  You say it….”Pah-Tay, Pâté, Potty.”  Pretty darn close, I think.

I am very smart, but I am not multilingual, and accents are very confusing.  Anyway, it was a fun walk, and mom promised to help me more with accents and spelling as I get a little older.

-Moz

Reidel Glassware

It’s Saturday, and I was very excited because mom did not have to go to work today.  But wait, she got up early and got ready to go out with dad.  Apparently they went to Papapietro Perry Winery to taste wine out of Reidel glasses to see if their wine tasted any different based on which glass they drank out of.  Was this necessary?  I doubt it.  So they were gone all day, and they came home with the glasses they “tested” and some cheeses (called “The Bomb,” “Cowabunga,” and “Euphoria.”…who names these???).  I have to admit the cheese smelled good.

Back to the glasses…mom says they actually DID make a difference in the way wine tasted.  So the question I have is, out of which Reidel glass should I drink my water, and where is it?  I did not see any glasses for me.  This seems blatantly unfair because, after all, my ancestors are from the same area as Reidel.

So no glasses for ME, but maybe they’d share some cheese?  Nope.  I tried sighing and looking sad, but that didn’t work.  I guess I’ll have to keep the sad face on until she gives in and gives me some peanut butter or turkey and cranberry cookies.  I hope Sunday is better.

-Moz

It’s Not Easy Being a Rescue by Ricola

While my narcissistic brother is outside in the cool air, I got a chance at the computer.  I’m Rico.  I was named Ricola after the cough drop.  Imagine hearing that at the dog park, “RIIIIII-COLLLLLLA.”  I’ll give you a minute.  Okay.  So I’m the eldest brother.  I’m 5 1/2 years old.  I was born on an Amish farm (aka a puppy mill).  A nice group called the Heart of Michigan Bernese Mountain Dog Club (HMBMDC) came in and rescued me and my family.

When I moved in with my current family, I was the youngest.  I had two older brothers (Russ, the GOLDEN retriever, mom’s most favorite dog of all time and Bogey, another rescued Bernese Mountain Dog) and a a sister, Skye (aka Princess) who was a Golden retriever (and dad’s favorite even though he wouldn’t admit it).  I was a little shy at first.  I didn’t like people very much, but I started to warm up to my new family.

I still don’t really like strangers.  They are scary.  To be truthful, I am agoraphobic, so I really prefer to hang out at home.  I will play a little with my brothers, but I don’t like it when they try to invade my space.  I do a little snarly face at them.  Mostly they ignore me when I do that.  They have no respect for their elders.

My favorite thing is to hang out on the bed and sleep with my parents.  I try to be very sneaky and get up there when they are asleep.  I get all comfy and fall asleep, and the next thing you know, mom’s awake, and I’m totally busted.  At least I know she doesn’t mind, especially in the winter.

I hear Mozzie coming in, so I need to go grab the prime real estate to get petted.  I’ll post again when Moz and the possum hunter are outside playing.

-Rico

Humans with Colds

 

 

Both of my parents have colds.  That stinks.  Why, you ask?  First, they keep me awake with all their coughing, wheezing, hacking, blowing their noses, and mom doesn’t feel good enough to take me for a walk.  I do know the way, so I could take myself for a walk if they’d just let me, but no.  I’m trapped here with my brothers and a bunch of tissues which Rico is always trying to grab and eat.  He’s not exactly a class act. 

I digress.  What can I do to help them get better faster?  I tried dropping an elk antler on mom’s arm.  I know elk antlers always make me feel better, but that didn’t seem to work.  Humans are complicated.  Sigh!  At least I have my blog to kill some time.

-Moz

Winter Arrives!

We are finally getting good weather here.  I don’t understand why so many humans here are wearing heavy coats when it’s finally nice enough to be outside.  And here’s another thing I don’t understand.  Mom got something called a “frost blanket” and dad cut it to some smaller size.  After that, dad put the blanket over two of our trees.  I’ve never lived somewhere that even the trees are wimps about cooler temperatures.  What is that??  The trees in question grow little balls on them.  Some are yellow and some are green.  They taste awful.  I think mom called them citrus.  Humans are just too strange.

We have another tree that grows balls on it, but they taste good.  Dad did not put a blanket on it.  Obviously I like non-wimp food.  That tree is cool because it has four kinds of balls on it.  Mom said they were stone fruits, but she’s crazy because I’ve never seen a rock even near that tree.  Two of them look the same, but one is fuzzy on the outside.  It makes my tongue feel funny.  The other two are smaller, and one of them is kind of fuzzy, too.  The last one is kind of purple.  I didn’t taste it, but it’s probably good because it comes from that non-wimp tree.

Well, I need to get back outside to the nice weather.

-Moz

Bumble Ball?

I love Black Friday sales.  Why?  Because my mom always gets me good stuff and because she’s saving money, she just buys more.  Normally, this is good.  Today she got a box with a few toys in it.  She was pretty excited, so I figured it was a great new toy.  When she put it on the floor, I wasn’t even sure if it was a toy or some living but strange looking thing.  It bounces around, so, or course, Atlas came running in and took it.  I think he might have thought it was a small blue possum or something.

 

You can never be too careful, so I didn’t dive right in to play with it.  She called it the Bumble Ball.  I sure am glad she ordered LOTS of Bully Sticks too.  They are one of my favorite things ever!  Anyway, I’m posting the videos of the new toy.  If you look, you’ll see I did not ever get to actually play with it  because Atlas hogged it.  Rico just stayed away.  He’s afraid of everything.  Maybe some of my fans have better toys they could tell mom about so I don’t get more duds.

 

 

 

 

December in California

Since we moved to California, many people ask about the weather and whether we get a change of seasons.  Yes, we do!  In fact, it’s fall/early winter here.  The leaves are falling, and at least at night, I get to go outside to enjoy the coolness.  This week will be great!  The temperature is supposed to drop so that the highs are only in the upper 50s this week.  Mom keeps saying she’ll take me up to Tahoe to see the snow toward the end of the month.  I can hardly wait!  For now, I’ll just enjoy the leaves.  I had mom take a picture today on our walk.  Notice we left my brothers at home. 

 

20131201_150504 (577x1024)